


The Case of the Missing Panties

by Mayalaen



Series: SPNColdestHits [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bonding, Case Fic, Castiel in Panties, Crack, Dean in Panties, Fucking, Incubus Castiel, M/M, Panties, Sam In Panties, Spanking, Theft, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-12
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-05-19 20:00:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5979391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mayalaen/pseuds/Mayalaen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where the only clothing people wear is panties, when those panties go missing, everyone notices. Sam and Dean are called in to investigate panty theft in a small town. This is their story.</p><p>(there are some scenes which could be called dub-con, though nothing sexual happens - only panty theft - and the victims aren’t assaulted)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Case of the Missing Panties

**Author's Note:**

> **PLEASE NOTE** that this fic includes NSFW graphics. These graphics are not mine, though I've manipulated them. The sources are [Giphy.com](http://giphy.com/) and [JustUsBoys.com](http://www.justusboys.com/).
> 
> If you'd like to read this on Tumblr, [Click Here](http://mayalaen.tumblr.com/post/139141192299/the-case-of-the-missing-panties).

Jeremy Owens was getting ready for bed when his girlfriend got home. He turned down the bed and greeted her with a kiss.

"Aww, baby, you look so tired," Jeremy said, cupping her face.

Melissa sighed. "I'm beat. I grabbed something to eat during my shift just so I wouldn't have to eat when I got home. You don't mind, right?"

Jeremy shook his head. "No, I don't mind at all. I've told you before to do that when you pull a double shift."

"Thank you," Melissa said, leaning forward and placing a kiss on Jeremy's lips.

"C'mon," Jeremy said, putting his right arm around her and leading her to the bed. "Let me lock up the house while you get into bed."

"You're awesome," Melissa said, unhooking her bra and tossing it aside.

Jeremy chuckled. "I know. That's why you keep me around," he said as he patted her panty-clad ass and left the room.

By the time Jeremy got back to their room, Melissa was already asleep, the little pink panties she was wearing so adorable that Jeremy wanted to touch and hold, but instead he climbed into bed, leaving his own boxer briefs on, and pulled the blanket over them, smiling when Melissa wrapped her left arm around his chest, not even waking up.

Jeremy yawned and scratched his stomach. He wasn't as tired as Melissa, but he wouldn't have any problem getting to sleep. Just after he closed his eyes, he felt a tingling all over his body. He shivered and tried to open his eyes, but he couldn't.

He tried to move, but everything seemed too slow, too difficult, and then something was pulling his boxer briefs down. He wasn't scared. He wasn't upset. In fact, everything felt good. It was soft and warm and whatever was pulling his boxer briefs down was almost caressing his skin, and he wriggled a little on the bed, easing the way.

Jeremy fell asleep with a smile on his face as the shadowy figure walked out of his room carrying his boxer briefs.

*

It started out a day like any other. Sam went out for his morning run, and when he got back Dean was just waking up.

Dean took his coffee from Sam just as his phone rang. "Hello?" he said before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Mr. Winchester? This is Sheriff Meadows. Ron," the man said.

"Oh, hi," Dean said, setting his cup down and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "We met on that case three years ago, right?"

"Yes, sir," Sheriff Meadows said.

"What can I do for you, Sheriff?" Dean asked.

"Well, we're having a bit of a problem down here," he said, and by the tone of his voice he was uncomfortable about whatever it was he had to say.

"I'm sure we can help you out," Dean said. "We've seen some pretty strange stuff. What is it you're dealin' with?"

Dean looked toward the bathroom and motioned for Sam to come out to listen in, but Sam was on the toilet and just shrugged. Dean rolled his eyes.

http://41.media.tumblr.com/a9180a79a060b61b714ab77faeff769c/tumblr_inline_o2er8y1wFk1sn11k5_500.jpg

The man let out a nervous chuckle. "Well, it's the strangest thing. Some of the locals are comin' in with reports of missin' underthings."

Dean frowned. "That's not very unusual. You've probably got yourself a pervert sneaking into homes and snaggin' them."

Sheriff Meadows sighed. "That's just it. Nobody's takin' the underthings out of the drawers or closets, they're stealin' 'em right off the locals."

"Oh, okay, that _is_ sorta strange," Dean said, then took another sip of coffee. "But I don't see how that's anything other than a robbery."

"I thought so myself," the sheriff said, "and I put a few of my deputies on it, thinkin' we'd catch the guy, but then, well, it happened to me. And all the stories the locals were tellin'... well, they're true."

"What stories?" Dean asked, putting the phone on speaker so Sam could hear. Sam sat down on his bed and quietly sipped his coffee.

"It was the most peculiar thing," Sheriff Meadows said, and he still sounded almost in shock as he said the words. "I was in bed with the wife, she was snorin' to beat the band, and suddenly I felt all soft and flowy and like I was resting on a cloud. I couldn't open my eyes, but I felt somethin' caressin' my skin, and it felt real good. Next thing I know my panties... I mean my underthings were bein' pulled off."

Dean grunted. "Sounds like an incubus or succubus."

"Now just wait a minute," Sheriff Meadows said. "I wasn't finished yet."

"Sorry, go on," Dean said.

"It didn't do anything to me," the sheriff said. "It slowly pulled my underthings down my legs and off, and I felt so good, so comfortable. I felt like I was wrapped in somethin' warm and beautiful. And then it was gone. I just remember wakin' up the next mornin' without my underthings on."

"What about your wife?" Dean asked.

"Her underthings were missin' too!" the sheriff said. "She felt the same thing I did, and just like me, nothin' else happened to her."

"That _is_ strange," Dean said.

"So can you help us out?" the sheriff asked.

"Yeah, we can be there in about six hours," Dean said, looking up at Sam, who needed in agreement. "We just finished up a job here in Springfield, so we can head out as soon as we get something to eat."

"Oh, thank you," Sheriff Meadows said, the relief in his voice almost palpable. "I really appreciate it. The locals are gettin' a little twitchy over this whole thing, and I know it'd make 'em feel better knowin' you two were comin'. Thank you."

"Okay, we'll see you soon, Sheriff," Dean said, then hung up the phone.

"That the town that thinks we're FBI?" Sam asked.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, and I didn't get my suit panties dry cleaned after last time."

"I've got a spare set," Sam said.

"In my size?" Dean asked.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Yes, in your size," he said as he stood up and headed for the door to the motel room.

"With the pockets?" Dean asked.

"Yes, with the pockets," Sam said as he walked out the door.

"That's my boy," Dean said.

*

Six hours later they were in the tiny town of Buffalo City, Wisconsin. Before they could even make it into the building, Sheriff Meadows was walking out to greet them.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're here," he said, handing off a manila folder to one of his deputies before holding out a hand.

Dean shook the sheriff's hand. "Came as soon as we could."

The sheriff shook Sam's hand, then gestured toward the building. "Come inside. I've not only got written statements from a few victims, but another couple came forward today. You can interview them. They're waiting in my office."

Dean and Sam walked through the station, waving at a few of the deputies who recognized them. When they entered the office, two men stood up from their seats in front of the desk, backing up and both of them a bit flustered, the older one blushing a bit.

"Oh, uhm, I'm sorry," the older man said. "I usually don't go out like this. Sorry."

"It's okay, guys," Sheriff Meadows said, holding his hands out in a calming gesture. "These two are here to help. They know all about what's been going on. Derek, Todd, this is Sam and Dean Winchester. They helped us out a while back on a case."

Sam smiled and shook their hands. "Nice to meet you."

Todd, the older gentleman, calmed some, the pink to his cheeks not as pronounced. "These are all we had left to wear," he said, gesturing to his own stretch jeans and his partner's sexy little maid apron.

Dean chuckled. "It won't bother us none. Nothin' to be embarrassed about."

"Todd, chill out," Derek said, smacking his partner on the chest. "They know you don't walk around in stretchy jeans all the time. They're here to help."

"So you two have lost more than one pair each?" Dean asked.

Derek nodded. "Yeah, we were one of the first to complain about this, and we've had multiple visits. Last night this thing took the last of our outdoor panties and left us with only these."

"We'll get to the bottom of this," Sam said. "How about you tell us what's been happening in your own words."

*

Dean pulled up to the restaurant a few hours later. They were both tired, having talked to a dozen people and still no closer to figuring out what was going on. Nothing else had been taken other than the panties, no evidence of any interest in the victims other than stealing their panties and leaving them feel warm and cozy, and absolutely no evidence of assault of any sort.

They sat down at a booth and waited for the waitress, both of them taking a look around to see how the locals were doing. The town was small, and it was obvious everyone was worried about what was happening. The restaurant was quiet despite most of the tables being occupied, and there was a tense atmosphere.

"Can I get you two something to drink?" the waiter asked.

"I'd like the special and a beer," Dean said.

"Same," Sam said, frowning as he looked down at the waiter's panties.

"Oh, sorry," the waiter said, pulling awkwardly at his panties. "This isn't my usual uniform. This is all I have left." 

"You too?" Dean asked.

"Yeah," the waiter said, nodding. "This is getting expensive. I can't afford to get all new panties on what I make here."

"Is it happening to everyone?" Sam asked.

The waiter thought about it a moment, then shook his head. "No. Now that I think about it, I don't believe Jo or Ruby have complained about a night visitor."

"Do you know where we can find Jo or Ruby?" Dean asked, sharing a significant look with Sam.

"You can find them right here," the waiter said, gesturing to the back of the restaurant. "Jo is our cook and Ruby is our dish washer."

"Can we speak to them?" Dean asked.

The waiter shrugged. "Sure, I'll ask them. And I'll be right out with your beers."

"Thanks," Dean said, then turned to Sam. "Well?"

"I don't really know what to think," Sam said, unwrapping his silverware and putting his napkin on his lap. "Any kind of creature or spirit I've ever read about doesn't pull shit like this without doing something more serious."

"Trickster?" Dean suggested.

Sam shook his head. "No, I don't think so."

"Why not?"

Sam let out a huff of laughter. "Because it's not all that mischievous or funny. It's just kinda pervy."

"Maybe he's just horny," Dean said, then sat up straighter in his chair when he saw two women come out from behind the counter. "Evening, ladies."

"Kevin said you wanted to talk to us," one of them said, almost sauntering up to the table. Her apron was soaked and there weren't as many stains, so Dean assumed she was the dish washer.

"Yeah, uhm, Ruby?" Sam asked, smiling at the woman.

"No," she said, almost snarling the word at him. "I'm Jo. This is Ruby," she said, gesturing toward the woman with dark brown hair.

"Oh, sorry," Sam said, smiling so hard his dimples showed. "Would you mind if we asked you a few questions?"

"I've got food cookin' back there," Ruby said, "so make it quick."

"Well, you know the town is having some difficulties right now with panty theft," Sam said.

"Yeah, but we haven't had any trouble," Ruby said.

"Do you have any ideas as to why?" Dean asked.

"Nope," Ruby said.

"Do you live close to the diner?" Sam asked.

Jo nodded. "We live within walking distance."

"You probably passed our place on the way here," Ruby said. "It's the little house about two blocks from here."

"You can't miss it," Jo said. "It's the one with the giant herb garden that the next door neighbor whines about all the time."

Dean chuckled. "Why do the neighbors whine?"

"Neighbor, singular," Ruby said, rolling her eyes. "The dude to the west of us. He complains that it smells bad, but we take very good care of our garden. Everything we grow, we use here in the kitchen."

Jo crossed her arms over her chest. "So are we done here or is there going to be a cavity search too?"

Sam winced. "Thank you very much for your time. Sorry to keep you."

"No problem," Jo said, then waved as the two of them headed back to the kitchen.

"They were just a ray of sunshine," Dean mumbled.

Sam tried to hide a smile but ended up snorting when Dean said "is there going to be a cavity search?" in a high-pitched voice while pulling a completely ridiculous face.

*

"Yeah, we could be dealing with anything," Dean said, letting out a sigh as they stood at the fence in front of the little house. It was still early in the morning, but the diner was open, so they knew Jo and Ruby wouldn't be home.

"I don't even know why they're growing half this stuff unless they're witches," Sam said.

"No wonder the neighbor doesn't like it," Dean said. "I bet when they water it, this whole place gets a million times worse."

"Still we should talk to him," Sam said, gesturing toward the neighbor's house.

"Yeah," Dean said, nodding, "maybe we can commiserate with him about living next to very friendly women."

Sam chuckled as they walked up to the door, then rang the bell. They both took a quick look around the door jamb and Dean used the toe of his boot to lift the welcome mat.

"No sigils," Dean said under his breath.

"Nope," Sam said.

The door opened and a man blinked at them for a moment, then rubbed at his eyes. His hair was a mess and he wasn't wearing any panties. "Yeah?"

"Sorry to bother you, sir," Sam said, pulling out his most charming smile, "but we're investigating a rash of panty thefts, and we'd like to ask you a few questions."

"Are you a victim yourself?" Dean asked, gesturing toward the man's morning wood.

The man frowned, then looked down at himself as if he'd never seen his own dick. "Oh, uhm, no," he said as he peeked around them.

Dean assumed the man was looking for anyone else who might be scandalized by the naked man at the door.

The man cleared his throat, eyes a little brighter as if he was finally waking up. "No, I like to sleep in the nude. Oh, and my name's Castiel. Cas. Sorry, I just woke up. I'm not a morning person," he said, half of his mouth twitching into something that might be called a smile.

"My name's Dean, and this is my brother, Sam," Dean said. "Sheriff Meadows asked us to come after folks started reporting panty thefts."

"Oh, that, yeah," Cas said, rubbing at his eyes again. "No, I haven't had any problems with it. But I also don't wear panties to bed, so," he said, trailing off as he shrugged.

Sam couldn't keep his eyes off the man. The way he moved. The way his eyes just seemed so blue. The way his morning wood only seemed to be getting worse instead of better.

"So h-how long have you...?" Sam said, trying to concentrate. Dean elbowed him in the ribs, and Sam finally remembered what he wanted to ask. "How long have you lived here?"

"About six months," Cas said. "I move around a lot for my job."

"What do you do?" Dean asked, shifting on his feet as the summer heat started to get to him. He felt a bead of sweat make its way down his back.

"Water and soil analysis," Cas said.

"Oh, are there any problems with the city?" Sam asked, running a hand through his hair, which was quickly getting soaked with sweat.

"No," Cas said, shaking his head, his smile getting a little bigger, a little more adorable. "I'm not the guy they call in for crisis situations. They send me out to do long-term analysis to make sure everything's okay. It usually is, and I help the city planners make decisions regarding the health and safety of the citizens."

"Oh, that's nice," Sam said.

Dean frowned. He would swear Sam's voice sounded a little dreamy. "How long are you going to be here?" Dean asked.

"I've stayed here longer than I usually do," Cas said, shrugging. "The people are so nice here and I'm helping them with the runoff from the mill down on Salter, so they've invited me to stay longer, and the company I work for was happy to oblige."

Dean winced as his cock twitched. He blamed it on the fact that Cas was standing in front of them fully erect. The guy was hot. Dean had no problem admitting that.

"It's really hot outside," Cas said, then leaned forward and wiped a finger through the sweat running down Sam's chest, politely ignoring the gasp from Sam. "Would you two like to come in? I've got lemonade," he said, holding the door open for them and giving them a wink.

Dean's feet made the decision for him, and Sam followed him in. Once inside, Dean knew he was screwed, but he didn't care. The door closed behind them and there were hands, everywhere and nowhere all at once. He moaned as Sam fell against him, and the two of them went to their knees, but they weren't on the floor. They were on a bed. A fluffy, warm bed.

"You can say no," Cas said as he placed kisses on Dean's chest. "I promise I didn't influence either of you. Other succubi and incubi do that, but I only want people who want me."

Dean blinked up at the man. No, the creature. He was even more beautiful. His eyes were glowing a soft blue, his skin was too warm and just warm enough, and that mouth. That fucking mouth was sinful.

"If you hadn't wanted me, you wouldn't have been affected by the small amount of pheromones I was letting out," Cas said as he slowly peeled Sam's panties down his long legs.

"And if you say no, I'll stop," Cas said.

"It's a fucking yes," Dean said, surging up and grabbing Cas' face, kissing him and trying to get closer as Sam took a handful of Cas' hair in his big paw and started nibbling at the back of Cas' neck.

"I don't need to feed off people," Cas said, panting when Dean finally broke the kiss. "But I do need something. It's me who has been taking the panties. It's enough to keep me alive between times when I find someone who wants to be with me."

"How's that work?" Sam asked.

Dean rolled his eyes as he palmed Cas' erection. "Really? You're gonna ask that _now_?"

"Like you don't wanna know!" Sam nearly growled at him as he reached around Cas and wrapped a hand around Cas' balls, rolling them in his palm.

Cas chuckled. "It's okay. I don't mind. It's kinda like sniffing panties, only on a deeper level. People walk around in them all day long and by the end of the day some of their sexual energy has been transferred. So I bring them home and masturbate with them, and I get a fix that last me for a day or two."

"So you keep all of them?" Dean asked as he rubbed his thumb over the head of Cas' dick.

"Yeah, I save them, then mail them back to everybody just after I leave a city," Cas said. "I know it's an inconvenience for the people I take them from, but considering what I _could_ be doing to people, I think it's a small price to pay."

Sam kissed over Cas' shoulder and pinched a nipple, making Cas arch against Dean. "I gotta ask. Why haven't you taken Jo and Ruby's panties?" Sam asked.

Cas chuckled. "They give me free pie because they think I'm cute."

"Hey," Dean yelped as he pulled back. "They _like_ you? They're _pleasant_ to you? What the fuck?! I'm surprised they didn't stab me in the face with a fork while we were at the diner yesterday!"

Cas smiled at him. "They're private people, and if you went in there to ask questions, you probably set them on edge. They're really sweet if you're not putting them on the spot."

"They complained about you," Sam said.

"Oh, yeah, because of the smell," Cas said. "I've whined a little about the smell, and they tease me about it, but in the end I would never try to make them get rid of it. They love that garden."

"Free pie? Really?" Dean said, then let out a whimper as he looked at Sam over Cas' shoulder. "Pie, Sammy!"

Sam chuckled and pushed Cas forward. Dean fell back, grunting as Cas fell on top of him, and just as Dean was about to complain, Cas started to writhe and moan on top of him.

"Oh, yeah! Oh, fuck yeah!" Cas said as he put his forehead down on Dean's chest.

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, holding him still so Sam could do his thing. Dean knew from past experience that Sam was really, really good at eating a guy out.

"I probably should-ah! Oh, oh, right there," Cas gasped, then lifted his head and tried to focus on Dean. "I should tell you guys that you're the only ones to ever respond to my pheromones like that. It's kind of a big deal."

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, not really concerned so much as he was enjoying the way Cas frowned as he tried to make his brain function while Sam licked and sucked at his asshole.

Cas opened his mouth on a silent moan, closing his eyes. Dean heard a smack and Cas flinched, blinking down at Dean.

"Answer my brother," Sam said, then smacked Cas' ass again.

Cas grinned. "Yes, sir," he said, his cock twitching against Dean's. "Well, it kinda means you guys are my mates."

"Huh?" Dean said.

"Yeah, this is actually really fuckin' awesome," Cas said, big smile on his face. "I didn't realize it until you both started sweating, and really I never expected I'd find a suitable mate, let alone two."

"What does that mean?" Sam asked, sitting up and sharing a look with Dean. He mouthed "what the fuck" at his brother.

"Oh, it's nothing bad," Cas said, wiggling his ass in the hopes Sam would get back to licking him. "It's not some inescapable bonding thing that happens without anybody realizing it. I mean, yes, there can be bonding, but don't stop eating me out. I promise you won't bond with me by doing that. Or by fucking me. Or by letting me fuck you."

Dean shook his head. "We're not incubi. How can we be suitable mates?"

Cas shrugged. "We're just compatible. It's very rare, but it just means there's no question as to whether we'd all get along or not, and not just sexually."

"Get back to the bonding thing," Dean said.

"Only if Sam gets back to what he was doing," Cas said, grinning. Dean watched as Sam rolled his eyes and leaned back down. "Mmm, yeah. That's better. He's really good at that."

"Yeah, I know," Dean said.

"Okay, so if you guys decide I'm a keeper and you wanna take me with you and say with me forever," Cas said as his finger started to dig into Dean's shoulders, his eyes half closed from the pleasure, "then I can bite you and put just a little bit of my venom into your bloodstream. You'd become my mates and we'd have a deep bond that tied us together."

"Do I get any superpowers?" Dean asked.

"You'll get an added sense," Cas said. "You'll be able to tell where I am at all times. Sam too."

"Ooh, that could come in handy," Dean said.

"Sam! Sam, please!" Cas cried out. "If you don't stop I'm gonna come, and I wanna come with you inside me."

"Fuck yeah!" Sam said, pulling himself up.

"Where's the lube?" Dean asked.

"Hold on," Cas said, then crawled over Dean and opened his bedside table drawer. He crawled back between Dean's legs and rubbed his ass against Sam's thighs. "I don't need any. I self-lubricate. But Dean will need some."

Dean chuckled as Sam moaned, his fingers pushing into Cas' hole. Cas opened the tube of lube and squeezed some out onto his fingers.

"When did my panties come off?" Dean asked, frowning down at himself.

Cas grinned. "I pulled them off as you two stumbled in here. Now spread your legs."

Dean did as he was told, planting his feet on the bed and letting his knees fall open. Cas didn't waste any time. He used two lubed fingers to tease Dean's hole a moment, then pushed in. Dean let out a sigh as Cas fingerfucked him with slow strokes in and out, Cas' free hand finding his cock and stroking it with that same lazy speed.

"Oh!" Cas gasped.

Dean opened his eyes in time to see Cas' eyes go wide as Sam pushed his cock in. Cas bit his lip, muffling a whimper as his eyes fell closed again. It was one of the most erotic things Dean had ever seen. Cas was beautiful and so fucking hot that Dean couldn't wait any longer. He reached out and grabbed Cas' hard cock, lining it up with his hole and lifting his ass off the bed to get Cas in deeper.

"You gonna make us do all the work?" Sam asked, giving Cas another smack on the ass.

Cas groaned, eyes unfocused as he tried to fuck Dean. "I'm not used to feeling like this," he said, voice breathy and strained at the same time. "Feels so much better with the two of you. So much better. You taste so good. So perfect."

"Well, I'm gonna get a cramp in my legs if I gotta fuck myself like this," Dean said as he pulled off Cas and turned over. He got his knees under him and scooted back, then reached behind himself and positioned Cas' cock before shoving himself onto it.

"Oh! Oh, Dean!" Cas cried out, fingernails scratching over Dean's sides and lower back as if Cas couldn't figure out where to hold.

Dean lowered his chest, planted his hands on the bed, and rocked back and forth with enough force to push Cas into Sam.

"C-can I share?" Cas asked. "I can sh-oh! Oh, fuck. I can share some of my, ah-fuck, some of my sexual energy with you, but there's a chance I'll bond if you guys are really compatible. If I let you feel some of this, it'll be the best sex you guys have ever had though."

"You can't control who bond with?" Dean asked, spreading his legs a little more.

"I can, but sometimes it just happens," Cas said. "I can try giving you a small amount, but-ah! Oh, Sam, right there! Yeah!"

Sam held onto Cas' sides and pulled him back as he fucked forward, timing his thrusts with Dean's so all Cas had to do with just hang on for the ride. But Cas' neck and shoulder were so pretty. So tempting. And when Sam bit down on that soft spot at the juncture, Cas screamed. He fucking screamed.

It was like they'd been hit with electricity. Sam and Dean couldn't move as their orgasms hit, their bodies tensing and contacting toward each other as Cas screamed and something in the room shattered.

Sam's body shook with the aftereffects of his orgasm, and even though he hadn't remembered closing his eyes, when he finally blinked and looked around, he realized he'd fallen on top of Cas and Dean.

"Sorry," he mumbled as he pushed himself up, but then he gasped as something in his asshole moved. "What the fuck?!" he yelped as he froze.

"S'okay, Sam," Cas said, face smashed against Dean's chest. "It'll wear off in a few hours. Until then, enjoy feeling everything I do."

Sam frowned, but he shifted his weight a little and gasped as he felt his cock pulling out of Cas and what could only be described a cock pulling out of his own ass too.

"Oh, fuck yeah," Dean moaned.

"Okay, that's really cool," Sam said, then grinned mischievously before smacking Cas' ass one more time. Hard.

"Hey!" Dean cried out.

Sam chuckled, the sting in his own right ass cheek making his head spin a little. "Really, really cool."

"So if I blow you," Dean said, "does that mean all three of us feel it?"

"Yeah," Cas said, snuggling in and closing his eyes. "Only for a few hours."

"Well, c'mon! Get off'a me!" Dean said, poking Cas in the side. "We gotta try this out!"

"Too tired," Cas moaned, and Sam could hear the pout in his voice.

Dean sighed. "Fine. Just roll off me. Sam can blow me."

"You think I'm just gonna blow you?" Sam said, rolling off Cas and grabbing a pillow. He wriggled around until he was comfortable, then closed his eyes. "Suck yourself."

"Aww, man!" Dean whined. "This is awesome! And it only lasts for a few hours!"

"We can do it any time you want if you let me bond with you," Cas said, voice adorably sleepy and muffled.

"So when do we do that?" Dean asked.

Cas lifted his head, blinking at Dean for a moment before frowning. "Do what?"

"Bond!" Dean said, as if Cas was an idiot for asking.

"We met less than two hours ago," Cas said. "You really want to bond yourself with someone you met just today?"

"If I get sex like that? Hell yeah!" Dean said.

"Dean, quit being a dork," Sam said. "We need to spend some time with him. Maybe he'll hate us."

"Where are you headed next?" Dean asked.

Cas chuckled. "Probably the kitchen for-"

"No, no, no," Dean said, cupping Cas' face. "Where's your next job assignment?"

"Oh, that?" Cas asked, then snorted. "I lied. That's just my cover story so people don't ask too many questions about why I move so much. I _do_ help out the local mill, and they _are_ paying me for it, but that's all I do. Get odd jobs here and there to pay the bills."

"Ever been on a road trip?" Dean asked. Sam chuckled, but Dean ignored him.

Cas smiled. "Not _with_ somebody. Always alone."

Dean rubbed his thumb over Cas' cheek. "How'd you like to go on a road trip _with_ somebody? Two somebodies?"

Cas' smile grew even bigger. "I'd like that."

And they lived happily ever after, saving people, hunting things, and having amazing sex in shitty motel rooms across the country.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is my entry for February's [SPNColdestHits Challenge](http://spncoldesthits.tumblr.com/). This month the theme was "Pink Lace is the New Black." My fic is a very loose interpretation in that some pink lace panties are involved and Cas was about THIIIIIS close to being thrown in prison for it :D


End file.
